This is an excerpt from a great online resource on Serial Family Bullying: “Family Bully Exposed”
13th Attack-Defence Strategy: Claim the Part of the Victim (Steve Muto is straddling many stages of the Attack-Defense-Strategy, but his BigKahunaBully website is proof of the following…)
Following closely after ‘feigned humility’, the Attack-Defence is complete. The Family Serial Bully will have successfully redefined themselves as the victim who requires more protection, attention, understanding and forgiveness than their Target(s). The same rights that go with being the ‘favored one’. If even one Ally is willing to allow the Family Serial Bully this position, the FSB will continue to bully for more control and proof of their favored position in the family.
In so doing, the Family Serial Bully has reduced themselves to the two year old level when they were recognized as the favored child who, either because of their temperament or health demanded the spotlight. They have successfully re-defined their adult persona has needing the same preferred attention as a toddler, for reasons of temperament, health or concocted problems.
To maintain these privileges the Family Serial Bully works hard to maintain their problems, to concoct more if necessary and to deal harshly with anyone trying to clear matters or solve their problems for them. Allies are expected to acknowledge the Family Serial Bully problems, offer condolences, apologies and atonement for the FSB’s problems, but attempts they make to solve these problems are thwarted by the FSB.
So the FSB’s problems, used to retain attention and forgiveness are never resolved and sincere apologies, sympathy, atonement, and solutions for their problems only serve to irritate and antagonize the FSB. Targets will continue to find problems that appeared resolved days, week, months, even years ago pop up like new again and again.
Compassionate and caring by nature, Allies may believe it costs the family nothing to simply allow for the FSB’s account of history, as long as the rest of the family knows they don’t ‘really believe it’. But when one chooses not to consistently challenge the truth behind an FSB’s lies one is also choosing to allow the slander behind the lies to go unchallenged, and send the unintended, but clear, message that the FSB’s pretence of suffering supersedes the real suffering of their Target(s). It may not overtly cost an Ally, but it dearly costs the Target(s) slandered by the FSB’s claims of victim hood.
Allies are forced to decide with whom they will ally. No action is the action that not only protects the FSB but keeps their Target(s) exposed.